Whenever my creativity evades me and my inspirations are null and void, I still look at other artists' work and enjoy seeing that. I look at magazines and online stuff. I try to sign up for something online that doesn't take a lot of time and effort but might teach me something new. Other than that, I just sits and thinks...and sometimes I just sits (to quote Pogo, the comic strip of old). I guess it's that time.
When you are losing someone who meant so much to you, you become sad and sometimes angry. I know we are not made to last forever, but it's hard to accept. I talk to my cousin (who is like a big sister, not a cousin) every day - sometimes twice a day. There will never be good days again but some days are okay.
I read something the other day about losing your siblings. If we get old enough, that will happen. Sometimes it happens before we get old. Anyway, it said when you lose all of your siblings, you also lose your own history. For who else can remember the stupid things you did when you were young; the strange outfits you put together to look cool; the choices you made that were not the best? Who else can remember when you sang at their wedding, or taught them to dance, or just got silly together? Losing them is losing yourself, in a way.
So I just sits and thinks...or just sits. I'll return...later.
When you are losing someone who meant so much to you, you become sad and sometimes angry. I know we are not made to last forever, but it's hard to accept. I talk to my cousin (who is like a big sister, not a cousin) every day - sometimes twice a day. There will never be good days again but some days are okay.
I read something the other day about losing your siblings. If we get old enough, that will happen. Sometimes it happens before we get old. Anyway, it said when you lose all of your siblings, you also lose your own history. For who else can remember the stupid things you did when you were young; the strange outfits you put together to look cool; the choices you made that were not the best? Who else can remember when you sang at their wedding, or taught them to dance, or just got silly together? Losing them is losing yourself, in a way.
So I just sits and thinks...or just sits. I'll return...later.
8 comments:
I am sorry you're going through this, Rhonda; I am sure it is very difficult. Seems to me your instincts are correct: sit with it, be.
Will be thinking of you ...
Even bigger hugs x
Group hug, Rhonda...
I'm so sorry about your cousin, Rhonda. It IS hard to accept that we are not meant to last forever.
My dear Rhonda, my heart is with you. I do not know what else to say. I feel with you. Sending you LOVE and BIG HUGS.
With deep love for you and your beloved cousin
Kathryn
Thanks, everyone. You are too kind. I know we all have gone through this and, unfortunately, it brings up all the losses from years before. Cancer is a bastard of a disease and one never is cured, are they? Just waiting for the next shoe to drop after you think you've gone through it and come out the other side :(
Sending you all good thoughts and hugs, too!!
I have gone back to my paintings (those pale, wimpy ones I didn't like) and will try to add more interest by adding darks - stay tuned!
Rhonda I am so sorry about your cousin/sister/friend. Am sending you a big hug. Also will be "looking up" for both of you. Take care.
It’s my cousin, Debbie. But seems like a sister, really, in a lot of ways. So sad and so hard on the heart to see someone suffer this way.
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